what is in an into and conclusion
In the intro you establish the statement. You have both sides but you could go further into why it is an important idea. Make sure you utilise all of the words in the question in the intro. Yes there is a message but why is it an important one.
You integrate the techniques well with good examples in subsequent paragraphs. Again you don’t do enough to establish why this is an important message. Yes the message is clear but not the why. The why is the lead to Merit and Excellence.
Hope this helps and good luck tomorrow.