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Rant: The school ramps

Do not get me wrong: I love my school, most of the time. You know what, that was a straight-up lie from a fifteen-year-old teenager. Let us rephrase that, I love the appearance and ambience of my school. But sometimes not everything is loveable, and here is why:

Waking up at 4 a.m. − or we can at least imagine that I am a studious kid and I wake up at four every morning to start my day. Anyway, pretend that I woke up at 4 a.m., had the best breakfast, and then happily left home to kick-start after the weekend hoping to have a good Monday. As I reach the bus stop down from the school, I see a long 1-kilometer ramp to get to school. This is where things get unlovable about the whole school. Here is why: walking up a 1-kilometer steep hill with a not-so-light 5kg bag is already bad enough. But this combined with either blistering sunshine or the merciless gust of wind, panting and rushing so that I do not get marked late by Miss Kelly? Yeah, that is NOT a “loveable ambiance.”

It is a journey through the steep, dark, murky passage. The dark green leaves mask the dazzling sun shining in the summer. One step taken after the other, the tension drifting in the air gets colder and colder. During winter, grey smoke rushes through the chimneys of the houses nearby, barely allowing me to take a deep breath after that long stride up the ramp. Let us not even talk about the times after school: students look like animals who got freedom from a zoo. Rushing and running down the ramp to get a seat on the bus rather than having to stand for thirty minutes. Running down the hill when raining and windy is another challenge in our daily lives. I have even seen people tripping and rolling down the hill during rainy days. Although I must admit, it is quite embarrassing to roll down the ramp as if you are a ball in front of 300 students.

Walking up each day, knowing that you must start your day at school by walking up the lingering ramp, would make any student want to sit at home and watch the fight between the Kardashians rather than fight with themselves to walk up that ramp. This always left me wondering why not persuade the school to build an escalator on the ramp. But I am sure the heads of departments are not easily swayed if I walk up to them and say, “It is indeed good for the students.” Or even if I approached them by saying “This will indeed develop the school’s technological system as it would make our school the first to construct an escalator, and we would be building a way for the future robotic system.” Yeah, that would make me look more stupid, and annoying.

But you know what? Although it is a pain that an SHC student must conquer every day, it makes this school unique. It is something that all students have to rant about and agree on equally, “It is the most unlovable thing about the school.” But despite the struggle of climbing the 1-kilometer ramp, getting scolded by Miss Kelly, rolling down the ramp, and running for the seat, it is all a fun moment that I can laugh and talk about when I go to university. Despite the struggles, we know education is worth it, at least we can pretend we enjoy it. Although I am sure that every SHC student would agree equally with signing a petition to install an escalator.

Statement of intent:

This piece of writing is a rant describing the everyday experience with the school ramps. I have used a first-person point of view to explain my personal experience. I have used listing and alliteration to structure the flow of the everyday struggle from a fifteen-year-old- teenager’s perspective. I also used an informal text for the audience to experience the school’s unlovable aspects.

Hi Anne

As this is an internal, we cannot give too much specific feedback. I enjoyed reading this and think you have developed a personal voice quite nicely and a sense of humour comes through.

There is some quite clunky sentence construction in some places - I would suggest revisiting this line for example - “Walking up each day, knowing that you must start your day at school by walking up the lingering ramp, would make any student want to sit at home and watch the fight between the Kardashians rather than fight with themselves to walk up that ramp.” My advice is to read through really closely out loud- OR get someone else or your computer to read it out slowly to you, and see if you could pick up some places where your sentences could be improved for clarity and accuracy :slight_smile: