Could someone please give me an idea of what mark I would get for my study written texts essay on Night and tell me how I can elevate this mark to an excellence?

English Level 1 1.1 Written text study
1

Question:

  • Explain how the beginning and / or ending was important to the text as a whole.

Essay:
The beginning and ending of the book “Night” are both important to the text as a whole as they show how the protagonist, Elie Wiesel, has changed throughout the book as a result of the horrors that he has faced at the hands of the Nazis. They also show contrasting themes throughout the text.

In the beginning of Night, Elie Wiesel is 12 years old and living in a small town called Sighet. He is very faithful to God and is good friends with a man called Moishe the Beadle, a foreign Jew that works at the Hasidic synagogue. He is Elie’s religious mentor. As the Nazi’s begin to invade Sighet, they expel all foreign Jews. Moishe, along with hundreds of other foreign Jews, is loaded onto a train, then offloaded and taken into the woods, where all of the foreign Jews are forced by the Nazi’s to dig their own graves and are then shot. Moishe is only shot in the leg and pretends to be dead until the Nazis are gone. He then escapes and returns to Sighet to warn others of what the Nazi’s will do to them but no one listens.

Ellie describes Moishe after this event, writing: “Moishe was not the same. The glow in his eyes was gone. He no longer sang. He no longer mentioned either God or Kabbalah. He spoke only of what he had seen.” This shows how cruelty can change someone and also shows hopelessness, which is a motif in the book. This reoccurs later in the text when it is Elie’s first night in Auschwitz after Elie has seen Jewish babies being thrown into pits of fire when Elie writes: “Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust.” Describing the theme of darkness which, in the text represents hopelessness and also describing how Elie has already started to lose his faith in God due to the intense cruelty of the Nazis at the concentration camp. It also foreshadows what will happen to Ellie Wiesel and all Jews that will be sent to the concentration camps, both physically and mentally.

At the end of the text “Night”, after Elie has been liberated from the Nazis, Elie musters the strength to look in the mirror, writing that he had not seen himself since he was in the ghetto. Elie describes seeing his own reflection: “From the depths of the mirror, a corpse gazed back at me. The look in his eyes has never left me.” This is important to the text as it shows how the cruelty (which is a recurring theme throughout the text) of the Nazi’s has changed him as a person and relates back to his description of Moishe the Beadle. Showing that Elie has changed the same way that Moishe did.

2

Kia ora again!

So a part of excellence is about style and also crafting a strong argument right from the start. You address the question well in the intro - I would suggest adding something about what the overall purpose of the text is - what is the writer trying to get the reader to understand about war or about humanity?

Your second body paragraph is quite good - some solid evidence here and good analysis.

Overall you definitely have a good understanding of the text so well done there. Some key things to improve below.

  • You don’t really have a conclusion which is crucial. The conclusion is designed to draw your whole argument together so make sure you have one on the day. Hopefully you will have gone over how to do this in class.

  • You don’t have much in here about the writers purpose which is needed to get M and E. The easiest way to include more of this is to weave it in throughout “The author writes” “Here the author (or name of author) highlights the way that cruelty is…” It’s a bit harder when it is autobiographical but still important to differentiate between “The character” who is in the story and the writer and how they are crafting the story and why.

Structure wise - your first paragraph and second are really all part of the same idea so I would just put them together. A third paragraph with some evidence and analysis would be better rather than a paragraph describing the plot.

Keep at it - feel free to make some of those changes and come back if you need :slight_smile:

3

Hi, thanks so much for your advice. Below is an improved version of my essay. If there are any other changes I should make to elevate my mark further, please tell me. Thanks so much again.

Essay:
The beginning and ending of the book “Night” are both important to the text as a whole as they show how the protagonist, Elie Wiesel, has changed throughout the book as a result of the horrors that he has faced at the hands of the Nazis. They also show contrasting themes throughout the text. In this text, the author, Elie Wiesel, shows the dangers of discrimination towards humanity and how cruelty and darkness can dehumanise people.

In the beginning of Night, Elie Wiesel is 12 years old and living in a small town called Sighet. He is very faithful to God and is good friends with a man called Moishe the Beadle, a foreign Jew that works at the Hasidic synagogue. He is Elie’s religious mentor. As the Nazi’s begin to invade Sighet, they expel all foreign Jews. Moishe, along with hundreds of other foreign Jews, is loaded onto a train, then offloaded and taken into the woods, where all of the foreign Jews are forced by the Nazi’s to dig their own graves and are then shot. Moishe is only shot in the leg and pretends to be dead until the Nazis are gone. He then escapes and returns to Sighet to warn others of what the Nazi’s will do to them but no one listens. Here, the author highlights people’s ignorance and unwillingness to talk about threats to them. Ellie describes Moishe after this event, writing: “Moishe was not the same. The glow in his eyes was gone. He no longer sang. He no longer mentioned either God or Kabbalah. He spoke only of what he had seen.” This shows how cruelty can change someone and also shows hopelessness, which is a motif in the book. This reoccurs later in the text when it is Elie’s first night in Auschwitz after Elie has seen Jewish babies being thrown into pits of fire when Elie writes: “Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust.” Describing the theme of darkness which, in the text represents hopelessness and also describing how Elie has already started to lose his faith in God due to the intense cruelty of the Nazis at the concentration camp. It also foreshadows what will happen to Ellie Wiesel and all Jews that will be sent to the concentration camps, both physically and mentally.

At the end of the text “Night”, after Elie has been liberated from the Nazis, Elie musters the strength to look in the mirror, writing that he had not seen himself since he was in the ghetto. Elie describes seeing his own reflection: “From the depths of the mirror, a corpse gazed back at me. The look in his eyes has never left me.” Here the author shows how cruelty (which is a recurring theme throughout the text) of the Nazi’s has changed him as a person and relates back to his description of Moishe the Beadle. Showing that Elie has changed in the same way that Moishe did.

Overall, the text Night has the recurring themes of cruelty and hopelessness. The latter of these is represented by darkness which is a piece of imagery that reoccurs throughout the text. The author uses these themes to show the effects of discrimination and how people can change when constantly treated cruelty as well as how cruel humans can be. An example of this is when Elie states “One day when we had come to a stop, a worker took a piece of bread out of his bag and threw it into a wagon. There was a stampede. Dozens of starving men fought desperately over a few crumbs.” The beginning and end of the story are both important to the text because it shows a contrast between a person who has not been put through cruelty and dehumanisation and that same person who has been put through cruelty and dehumanisation. This also helps to convey the author’s message in the text.