Can I please get some Feedback on my AQOTWF Essay

  1. Describe at least one important technique used in the text. Explain how the technique created an emotional response in you. “Techniques” could include figures of speech, syntax, word choice, style, symbolism, structure, or narrative point of view.

In the novel “All Quiet on the Western Front” written by Erich Maria Remarque one important technique used in the text is the loss of innocence in the thousands of young men who have fought in trench warfare of World War 1 , Through a first the person experience of a young german soldier Paul Baumer, The author highlights the transformation that war portrays on young men, stripping them from their youth, prominence and the inocennce.

In the beginning the young men where excited , enthusiastic and most importantly looking forward to a new adventure in an unknown country and driven by the propaganda of war. They are enticed to enlist by there school form teacher Kantorek, Kantorek makes war seem more gloryous to make the boys even more provoked to enlist. However their nativety is quickly shattered once they witness the horrors of battle, becoming brought down to earth with the reality of war on the front, the loss of their dignity marks the first step towards the destruction of their innocence.

As Paul and his comrades expercence war more often their inocence keeps getting stripped further and further away to a point when paul can no longer reconncect with his old passions, during the novel Paul takes the chance to take 17 days leave home but when he arrives he feels disconnected from family and what he enjoyed doing before he got sent away, The constant exposure to violence and brutality these men experenced adds to the dehumanizing effect of warfare leaving a profound image in their minds that will continue to haunt them for the rest of their life, the soldiers are forced to come to a reality of life and death and return back to their a animal instincts and a “kill or be Killed” lifestyle, the men dont know how much longer they have left they always have to expect something to happen when they walk around the next corner.

The constant exposure to violence and death leads to emotinal desenatison amoung the soldiers, when they first when into the front their stomachs would churn at the sight of a little blood but as war goes on and they experence more they become “numb” to the constant horrors going on around them, this emotional detachment is what lead Paul to lose his sence of what he found fun or kept himself entertained but after the war is now boring and not enternaing

Hi Getthedog123

Welcome to Studyit! The forum was closed back in September but is now opened for the year - would you still like some feedback on this essay or is it no longer required?

Yes please I would like some feedback

Hi again getthedog123

So you clearly are starting t structure your ideas around a text well, and have some general discussion of the text itself.

In order to do well at Level one and beyond, you need to be very careful to create an argument IN RESPONSE to your chosen question. You have not really addressed the “explain” part of the question about how an emotional response is created in you as the reader - that would be something I think you should read carefully back through and consider where you might add it.

You do address techniques in your intro, however a techniques question is really asking you about things that writer has done in the style of writing, to craft this text. loss of innocence is more of a theme - techniques might be symbolism, figurative language, emotive language, dialogue, etc. If you choose to do a techniques question, it is important to keep this in mine.

Lastly, at every level of English, the marker is looking for how well you know the text - it is important than you use direct evidence from the text to back up your points. This will look like using quotation, at least one or two per body paragraph.

Hope that helps! Feel free to come back if you do another one :slight_smile: