Can I please get some feedback for my Animal Farm essay?

I’ve been told I need to work on making my structure clearer, I’m aiming for an excellence so feedback is very very appreciated :))

Describe a weighty message conveyed in the text.
Explain how this message was conveyed.

Power abuse is an essential part of the 1945 text Animal Farm. Author George Orwell senda a message to readers about the dangers of power abuse through symbolism. Using Snowball and Napoleon as a reflection of political leaders, whiskey to represent corrupted ideals, and the milk and apples as an allegory for manipulation and greed, the author conveys a message that is both discrete and unforgettable.

The dangers of power abuse were addressed in this text using symbolism. Orwell uses Napoleon and Snowball’s final debate to show the readers the consequences they may have to face. The symbolism here is Snowball and Napoleon, which reflect the political leaders seen in the wider world, both during Orwell’s time and ours. Napoleon chooses to release “nine enormous dogs wearing brass-studded collars” during the final debate when there was “no doubt as to which way the vote would go”, as “Snowballs eloquence had carried the animals away”. This leaves Napoleon to seize control of Animal farm by force. The use of symbolism here allows Orwell to keep the story engaging and interesting. In his life, Napoleon could be Josef Stalin seizing control of Russia from Trotsky. The use of ambiguous times and dates, however, allows for this weighty message to remain important for people reading in any generation. We can see reflections of Napoleon today in Netanyahu for example.

The second use of symbolism to convey the message warning of power abuse is Whiskey. This is shown in the beginning of the text when Mr Jones who was “too drunk to shut the pop holes” was emphasised to be neglectful and intoxicated. Napoleon later also finds whiskey in the cellar of Mr Jones house, which he drinks. Orwell uses this symbolism to draw parallels between Mr Jones, the previous owner of animal farm, and Napoleon. Napoleon clearly breaking one of the seven commandments, shows his increasing detachment to the principles that sparked the revolution. It foreshadows him becoming more and more human, demanding more from the animals as he becomes “drunk from power”. This symbolism allows Orwell to highlight Napoleons change and power gain (therefore becoming more “human”). Orwell also shows the consequences of this as Napoleon orders the animals to plough the fields “intended for those past work” to plant barley. Further shows his greed as he sacrifices other animals’ needs for his own wants, similar to those in power we see around us.

The final use of symbolism to convey this message is the milk and apples. The milk and apples symbolise the luxuries that are withheld from the animals due to the pigs abusing their intelligence, which changes the power dynamic drastically, as the initial as reason Snowball and Napoleon became leaders as “with their superior knowledge, it was natural that they should assume the leadership”. The pigs claim that the milk and apples are for their, and they eat them “for your sake”. The animals which are not as intelligent as the pigs agree with this decision, as they are led to believe that it is best for the farm. This symbolism shows how easy it is for the animals (or us) to be manipulated, and how we should not easily trust what has been said to us. We, represented as the animals by Orwell are warned of subtle manipulation in our day to day lives.

In conclusion, symbolism is used by author George Orwell to warn readers about the dangers of power abuse. It is used to allow readers to understand this message clearly by showing the consequences of allowing the power abuse to continue. This is often at the expense of the animals, which represent us. Through examples such as; Napoleon and Snowball reflection of people in power around us, whiskey as a symbol of Napoleons increasing power gain and therefore abuse, and milk and honey as a symbol of what the animals are missing out on. The dangers of power abuse become clear to readers.

Kia ora kabagee - welcome to Studyit

Great intro and great essay overall - you address the question well and have lots of great evidence, a sense of purpose, as well as some discussion of the wider implications.

A couple of statements could be fleshed out a bit further to reach perception, eg the last sentence in the second para - in terms of who in power we might have seen this from.

However in general this is a very strong and perceptive essay - very well done!

thank you!!
would you advise using more specific examples, such as certain people in today’s time or just giving more general statements? maybe some historical figures?

could i use this essay to answer a question on main ideas? I’m not sure how it differentiates from a theme.

Hi Kabagee

Historical figures works well I would say - but if there are people/countries/types of government that you can think of that tie in today then by all means!

You could write essentially the same essay if it had a key idea in it instead of weighty message (or theme) (the key idea being the abuse of power). Essentially a theme is just a big idea. However just watch out about the second part of the question as it is always something slightly different- eg it might be something like "Describe a key idea conveyed in the text and Explain how the idea created impact or Explain how the idea was memorable or explain how the idea created an emotional response in you.

You will do great!

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