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Can i have some feedback on my essay please?

Q. Describe how at least one character or individual in the text accepted the change. Explain why the character or individual willingly accepted this change.

‘All Quiet on The Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque engages the reader by using an 18-year-old German schoolboy, Paul Baumer as a first-person narrator. Remarque uses Baumer to demonstrate the horror’s of war, at the age of 18 Paul and his friends enlist themselves to go along and fight in World War l, “The War to End All Wars”. The novel describes how the solider’s detachments from their lives were when returning home from the Front, Paul and his comrades feel that they will never fit in into society ever again. This all seems new to Paul as he was once a boy who liked reading books and drawing pictures, to a killing machine fighting for survival, with Paul being completely unaware of what he got himself into, but later on, realises it was too late to walk out and is later on forced to accept and adjust to his new lifestyle and forget about his old lifestyles back home.

Remarque wrote ‘All Quiet on the Western Front to show and describe how the Germans detachments from their civilian lives when returning home from the Front. When the Nazi government took over they banned and burnt the novel because it made the Germans look weak, Remarque wrote the novel as anti-war and unpatriotic and claimed that it was a realistic portrayal of trench warfare

Paul an 18-year-old German schoolboy and his friends naively enlist themselves into the army with zero knowledge of what is to come ahead of them, with no experience of how to fight or protect themselves Paul is left to witness the loss and deaths of his friends and comrades. An example of this is when Kat dies, Paul treats Kats death as an impersonal response which has then left Paul and his comrades to forcefully desensitize themselves to things that would affect them during the war. ‘’We have lost all feelings for each other are all dead men with no emotions’’ with all the deaths and losses of their team, the comrades eventually accept that the life they had back home will never be the same and that in order for them to survive they must lose all feelings for each other and only depend on themselves. Remarque’s purpose is to show how Paul and his comrades were forced to accept the new lifestyle they were thrown into and were left to fight for their country but also survival, they were forced to switch all emotions off and become numb. Remarque shows us how the war broke the men and pushed them beyond breaking point. This text is important because it shows how the war changed Paul and his comrades, they all went from caring for each other one day to only treating each other’s death as an impersonal response.

Not only did the war affect the men on the Front, but it also impacted innocent people and animals lives, an example of this is when Paul and his comrades come across some civilians pushing handcarts pilled and filled with their belongings due to their homes being destroyed by crossfire, another example is when the French bombers were bombing the camp were, later on, had a few dead men but also horses, The horses symbolise the innocence that was tortured and left to suffer and die because of the horrors of war through no faults of their own. Remarque’s purpose is to show how the war not only affected the men fighting in the war but also innocent civilian and animal lives, he shows how the war consumed and affected everything and everyone. The war changed the men, their values and also society. Remarque shows how the government told society about how great the war was and how it would be a big disillusionment if young boys decided not to join, it shows how these innocent people were manipulated into thinking that the war was something to glorify not knowing that they might lose their homes or even their lives

To finish off Paul kills Genarld Duval a French solider, this is an important part of the text because in the novel Paul and his comrades shoot and kill off the enemy in the trenches, unable to see their faces this leads the men to feel no remorse after taking the lives of the enemy. Paul stabs Duval, This scene is very important because Duval is stabbed and later on dies from the loss of blood, Paul realises that Duval has a family, Paul feels lost, he feels fanatic and hopes to find salvation by sending Duval’s family money. Paul realises that without their uniforms, they were just the same, he realised that they had more in common than not. ‘’It was only now that I can see you are a human being just like me’’. The horrors of war were Remarque’s way of emphasizing to the reader how pointless the war was, this symbolises how the French and German soldiers had more in common than not.

‘All Quiet on the Western Front is still a relevant novel in today’s society, Remarque wrote this novel as anti-war and unpatriotic and claimed that it was a realistic portrayal of the trench warfare the novel is left there to educate young and old generations about the horrors of war and how we should avoid it so that in the future there won’t be any. It is a novel that was left to describe how the solider’s detachments from their lives were when returning home from the Front,

Kiā ora.
An interesting question. Was it perhaps written as how they accepted an important change?
No matter. Let’s go with what you have.
In the introduction it is sensible to set up what you are going to be looking at and address both parts of the question. If you use the actual words, like change, that are used in the question it is a lot clearer what you are talking about and it gives a lead to the marker. So you have a change in attitude from before when he had no idea what it was like to after when he did? The concept of willingly accepting the change is going to be quite hard to explore, I think in this context.
Your evidence is great, good use of quotes, but you could work at developing the response to the second half of the question. I think the qeustion is difficult and when you add " This text is important because it shows how the war changed Paul and his comrades, they all went from caring for each other one day to only treating each other’s death as an impersonal response." you are not addressing the second part you have set up which is “Explain why the character or individual willingly accepted this change.”.
I think it would be really great if you tried again with this question
Describe a change in a character in a text.
Explain how this change developed your understanding of an important ideas(s),
using much of what you have here.
Have a go. :grinning:

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