Animal Farm - written essay

Can you please give me feedback on my essay.

Describe at least one idea that changed your perspective (point of view) in the written text. Explain how this idea changed your perspective.

Some people/animals are born to stand out, giving them a name for themselves. This is shown throughout the book written by George Orwell, called Animal Farm. The reader is led to think that “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others”. This quote changed the reader’s perspective (point of view) and led the reader to think that proletariat (working-class people) and bourgeoisie (upper-class people) were actual things that happened all over the world and not just in books/movies.

When looking at the text “Animal Farm” the reader can see the obvious difference between some of the animals, some animals/humans e.g. Napoleon and Mr Jones are more bourgeoisie to the other animals e.g. Boxer and Squealer who are proletariat. Animals/humans like Napoleon and Mr Jones use their power and abuse to control any other animal on the farm.

The animals point of view shows sympathy on the hopes and fears they share as they all live together on the farm. Animal Farm also shows how easily memory can be manipulated and changed, to get someone their way. Individual animals may not remember anything that happened at the Battle of the Cowshed, but as the animals are always manipulated we can never understand what really happened because the reader only knows what the animals are being told and not the true story. The bourgeoisie animals can manipulate the proletariat animals easily because they are superior.

Kiā ora
In the intro you need to answer both parts of the question, showing the marker where you are going to go. You do reference an idea, being some people are born to stand out, but I think it could be made a little clearer - Eg. We may think all people are equal and have equal opportunities but in fact the author shows us that there is a clear and unfair difference between the rights and benefits of the working class and the upper class. This then suggests the change in perspective and you can go into how you are made to become aware of the difference.
In the next two paragraphs you allude to events but this could be a bit clearer too. Maybe you could then come up with three clear examples of the different treatment for the two groups and describe what happens and then what you learnt?
Hope this helps.
JD :grinning: