Studyit

What grade would I get for this 2011 UFT paper, and how can I improve?

QUESTION ONE: FICTION
Refer to Text A, The Moment before Light Disappears, on page 2 of the resource booklet to answer
this question.

(a) (i) Identify ONE language feature the writer uses to describe the flame or the fire.
Personification

(ii) Provide an example of this language feature from the text.
Flames rise up to the ceiling, dance under the plastic light-shade round the light bulb

(b) Explain how this language feature shows what the flame or fire is like
Illustrates the elegance of it by likening to dancing.

(c) Explain how the writer shows what the experience of the fire is like for Federico.
Support your answer with examples from the text.
You could use one or more of the following ideas as a starting point for your answer:
• the techniques, including language features, that the writer uses to show Federico’s
experience
• the importance of the title
• the contrast between Sylvia and Federico

In this text, Kirsten McDougall uses language features to show us what the experience of fire is like for Federico in order to illustrate what goes on in a child’s mind when experiencing something scary.

In paragraph 4, McDougall uses a simile to show us what the experience of fire is like for Federico. We see this when they describe how “there’s a sound like wind channelling a tunnel.” Their use of a simile compares the sounds of the fire to a wind tunnel, which is an unsettling noise, portraying that Federico is figuring out something is wrong. This builds us suspense for McDougall to add to this with personification. This is when they describe how the “flame leaps up the back of the sofa.” The use of the word “leaps” is quite savage, helping them to illustrate how Federico sees animalistic qualities in the fire.

McDougall uses a hyperbole to build on showing us what the experience of fire is like for Federico in paragraph 5. We see this when they describe how “inside the boy, time slows down, halts.” Their use of the hyperbole of time “halting” helps them convey how slowly time feels like it is passing in Federico’s mind. McDougall builds on this through the use of a metaphor when they liken the room to “loose brush-strokes in an oil painting.” In doing so, they help the reader to see how blurry the experience has now become for Federico.

As the text draws to a close, McDougall uses personification to show us what the experience of fire is like for Federico. We see this when they describe how the flames “dance under the plastic light-shade.” This helps them to show the reader how while Federico found the flames animalistic before, they are now more formed and elegant. McDougall builds on this with a hyperbole when describing the “explosion of glass” that landed on Federico’s head. The use of the word explosion has connotations of violence and fear, showing how scared he may be.

By showing us what the experience of fire is like for Federico, Kirsten McDougall is able to illustrate what goes on inside a child’s mind when experiencing something scary. This can be important for modern New Zealanders to read, as it reminds many older people what it is like to be young.

Refer to Text B, Winter Round, on page 3 of the resource booklet to answer this question.
(a) (i) Identify ONE language feature the writer uses to describe the paper boy’s
appearance.
Metaphor

(ii) Provide an example of this language feature from the text.
“His brittle blond tumbleweed hair”

(b) Explain how this language feature affects the way you feel about the paper boy
The author is likening his brittle hair to a tumbleweed. This illustrates how it can be easily broken. Having hair like such generally has connotations of coming from a poor family, as richer people can afford to take better care of their appearance. This makes you feel sorry for the paper boy, as he is likely poor and cold, but still has to do the paper run to support his family. The metaphor could also be extended, to describing how his heart is also brittle, and this continues to make you feel sad for the boy, as he is helpless and in a bad position.

(c) Explain how the writer shows what the experience of delivering newspapers is like for
the boy. Support your answer with examples from the text.
You could use one or more of the following ideas as a starting point for your answer:
• the techniques, including language features, that the writer uses to show the boy’s
experience
• the writer’s opinion of the boy’s situation
• the writer’s view of society.

In this text, Emma Neale uses language features to show us what the experience of delivering newspapers is like for the boy in order to show people what it is like for children to work difficult jobs year round to support a family.

At the beginning of the text, Neale uses a metaphor to show us what the experience of delivering newspapers is like for the boy. We see this when they describe how the boy is “three sizes short of these tug boat shoes.” Their use of the metaphor likens the oversized shoes to a tugboat, which is likely implying that they are pulling him back. This helps them to illustrate how the boy is uncomfortable in his shoes and it is making the journey more difficult.

As the text progresses, Neale uses another metaphor to show us what the experience of delivering newspapers is like for the boy. We see this when they describe the boy’s “scarecrow ankles.” The use of the metaphor likens the boy’s ankle to a humanoid made of sticks, which helps us to see how he is skinny and malnourished. This helps Neale to show us how he is probably very hungry while delivering the papers.

As the text draws to a close, Neale uses alliteration to show us what the experience of delivering newspapers is like for the boy. We see this when they describe how the boy is “tripping at the tricky corner.” The use of alliteration with the letter t shows how clunky his running is, as t is a sharp consonant. This helps Neale convey how the boy is still struggling to deliver newspapers.

By showing us what the experience of delivering newspapers is for the boy, Emma Neale is able to shed light on the bigger issue of child poverty. This is an important issue for modern New Zealanders to consider, as over 10% of children are currently living under the poverty line.

(There was only a page to write this on the practice paper, so I assume my paragraphs shouldn’t be too big?)

QUESTION THREE: NON-FICTION
Refer to Text C, Where there is Smoke there is Fire, on page 4 of the resource booklet to answer
this question.
(a) (i) Identify ONE language feature the writer uses to show you that tobacco is harmful to
young people.
Statistics

(ii) Provide an example of this language feature from the text.
“Tobacco use kills 5.4 million people a year”

(b) Explain how this language feature shows that tobacco is harmful to young people
Statistics are effective at showing how tobacco is harmful to young people, as it is hard to argue with numbers. The author is using the statistic of 5.4 million, to show how many people die a year.

(c) Explain how the writer tries to persuade you that the tobacco industry takes advantage of
young people. Support your answer with examples from the text.
You could use one or more of the following ideas as a starting point for your answer:
• the techniques, including language features, that the writer uses to show her views
• the writer’s opinion of the way young people are exploited
• the way the tobacco industry is presented.

In this text, Madeline McIntire uses language features to persuade the audience how the tobacco industry is harmful to young people, in order to raise awareness of child labour.

At the beginning of the text, McIntire uses a simple sentence to persuade the audience how the tobacco industry is harmful to young people. We see this when they say “Smoking is killing him.” This simple sentence is easy to understand and gets to the point, which helps McIntire to persuade the audience how tobacco is harmful to young people like Marc, as it can be lethal.

As the text draws to a close, McIntire uses listing to persuade the audience how the tobacco industry is harmful to young people. We see this when they list the effects of nicotine poisoning on children working in tobacco fields: “Nausea, headaches, stomach pain, and breathlessness.” The use of listing illustrates how many different adverse effects there are of tobacco, which helps persuade the audience how harmful tobacco can be.

By persuading the audience how the tobacco industry is harmful to young people, McIntire is able to shed light on the bigger issue of child labour. This is an important issue for modern New Zealanders, as we buy many products that have been made with child labour without even realising.

Kiā ora
You organise your response well in Text A - Section C - which is where you have the chance to delve into the more insightful comments and purpose. You unpick the techniques well and explain the effects. Try and extend the comments just a little more…you say “word “leaps” is quite savage, helping them to illustrate how Federico sees animalistic qualities in the fire.” … There is also an element of surprise in leaps…the way that he is taken unawares and the sense of latent danger that is appearing…when we are confronted by the fury of a fire.
For the first text I would go a 6/8
For the second text
Again well structured but again think of the purpose… You say :“The use of the metaphor likens the boy’s ankle to a humanoid made of sticks, which helps us to see how he is skinny and malnourished. This helps Neale to show us how he is probably very hungry while delivering the papers.” but think of how you could extend this…she is trying to generate our sympathy for him and this helps us appreciate how difficult and uncomfortable the job is for him.
I would go 7/8
For Text C - again well structured. Good look at the issues, but again you could come back to purpose a little more.
I would go 6/8
Yes paragraphs can’t be too long - you have about twenty minutes for each text. You understand how to structure the responses well, have a good knowledge of techniques and this would be 7+6+6 = 19/24 =E7
Well done.
Hope this helps.
:grinning:

Thank you so much, I was aiming for merit so it felt so good to get an E