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Please can I get feedback on my Animal Farm essay?

Did I answer the second part of the question correctly? I am aiming for an excellence so please could someone tell me if this would be at an excellence level :smile:

Describe a key moment that shocked or surprised you in the written text. Explain how this moment was important to the text as a whole.

A key moment that shocked me in George Orwell’s, ‘Animal Farm’ is when Napoleon ( a selfish and controlling boar who represents Joseph Stalin - brutal leader of the Soviet Union ) betrays Boxer ( a hard working and naive cart horse who represents the average backbone of society ) by sending him to the slaughter house for money. This moment was important to the text as a whole because Boxer’s death represents the unfair treatment the working class of society get, as well as the destruction of Animalism ( a system where all animals have the right to equality and freedom on the farm )

George Orwell wrote ‘Animal Farm’ as a warning against totalitarianism. After World War 2, where he observed Nazi Germany and Russian totalitarian societies. Orwell’s intent was to inform and educate readers about dictatorial governments. In ‘Animal Farm’, Napoleon is illustrated as a cruel and selfish dictator who is slowly corrupted by power and cannot be trusted.

A key moment that shocked me in George Orwell’s, ‘Animal Farm’ was the betrayal of Boxer because even though he is the most hard working animal on the farm, Napoleon still betrays him. Boxer always worked hard and said, “I will work harder” and blindly followed Napoleon’s orders as he says, “Napoleon is always right”. This is important to the text as a whole because Orwell teaches the readers that no matter how hard working and loyal you are, the government can’t always be trusted. We can’t believe everything we are told.

Secondly, Boxer’s betrayal shocked me because Napoleon gets Squealer ( Napoleon’s second-in-command pig who represents Russian newspaper, Pravda - propaganda ) to lie to the other animals to cover up the truth. Squealer tells the animals that Napoleon sent Boxer to the hospital to be treated for his injury, but he couldn’t be cured and died with Squealer by his side. Napoleon made a speech, “Our dear comrade Boxer will be remembered for as long as Animal Farm exists, as he said in his last words, long live Animal Farm!” Squealer and Napoleon have lied and twisted the truth to make themselves look good. This is important to the text as a whole because Orwell is teaching the readers that we should not be quick to trust our leaders, even if they seem kind - because they are capable of lies and propaganda.

Finally, Boxer’s betrayal shocked me because Napoleon sent him to the slaughter house because he wanted money for whiskey. The other animals are completely unaware of the reason behind the delivery of the whiskey, shortly after Napoleon’s speech. Napoleon uses his power to trick Boxer and the animals because of his own selfishness and greed. This is important to the text as a whole because Orwell is teaching the readers that governments will use their power and manipulation to change things in society to the way they want. They can get away with a lot because of their position of power. Furthermore, it shows how Napoleon will do anything for his own gain and that the concept of Animalism is a lie in itself.

The betrayal of Boxer is important to the text as a whole because Orwell is teaching the readers that dictatorial governments should not be trusted. We need to be careful in life and should not instantly trust people because of the way they appear to be, for example, if they have a nice smile. Orwell teaches the readers that governments have the power to use propaganda to lie and make everything seem like something it’s not. Governments should not be easily trusted because the more trust they have from society, the more they can get away with. Boxer’s betrayal shows the readers that leaders can still let people down, no matter how hard working and reliable they are. This also shows how Napoleon is greedy and doesn’t actually care about the animals.

In conclusion, a key moment that shocked me in George Orwell’s, ‘Animal Farm’ was when Napoleon betrays Boxer by sending him to the slaughter house. It is shocking because of how Napoleon willingly got rid of the most loyal and hard working animal on the farm, how Napoleon and Squealer lie about it to cover up the truth and make themselves look good, and how Napoleon sells Boxer for money because of his own selfish greed. This is important to the text as a whole because Animalism has died, and George Orwell teaches the readers that governments should not always be trusted, no matter how nice they appear to be.

Kiā ora
You set up the moment really well, but could develop the notion of " why it was important" a little more. In the introduction you need to clearly set up what the question is asking. Why were you shocked ? This question underlies the whole essay. Were you shocked about what happened? Were you shocked that people could be so cruel? What does it reveal about human nature? …If this is clearly established at the start then the essay will fall into place. :+1:

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