Hi, may I please have some essay feedback?

A skilful Writer conveys their purpose through believable relationships.

F Scott Fitzgerald’s Novel “The Great Gatsby” communicates ideas around the impact of Materialism on the human mind and the hollowness this can impose on the lives of materialistic individuals. The statement that a Skillful writer conveys their purpose through believable relationships is one that I disagree with. Fitzgerald is a skillful writer that conveyed his purpose through the unbelievable relationship between Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan. This relationship is unbelievable in the sense that it was unrealistic and improbable, and that the feelings of both individuals toward each other were ingenuine or confused. This relationship was used to convey Fitzgerald’s purpose of communicating the flaws and risks of Materialism on individuals and in society, both at the time of the novel’s composition and in modern society today.

The Great Gastby was written in the 1920’s, and the nature of this era is thoroughly reflected in Fitzgerald’s writing and themes. The extravagance and abundance of the 1920’s altered people’s morals and conceptualization of success. This altered the stance around money and happiness was extremely detrimental to the relations between individuals and the overall function of society, which is captured throughout Fitzgerald’s writing and is used to educate or warn the reader of the flaws of this.

Gatsby’s supposed love for Daisy was ingenuine in the sense it was misguided, which is an aspect of the unbelievability of the relationship that Fitzgerald used to convey his purpose. Gatsby did not necessarily love Daisy, but rather loved what she represented. He loved the idea that if he were to have Daisy on his arm, he would have achieved the prosperity and success that he lacked in his early life. Marrying Daisy would offer the validation that he was a successful man in the context of the 1920s. This is evident in the quote “Increased her value in his eyes.”, which is describing Gatsby’s attitude towards Daisy having had numerous partners before himself. This quote suggests that Gatsby views Daisy as a prize, as a trophy that could represent his success, made more valuable by the fact that she was clearly desirable to others, proven by her previous relationships. Ultimately, this communicates that Gatsby did not truly love Daisy. If he truly loved her, the thought of her with other men would not make her more desirable to him, showing that he viewed her simply as a valuable possession. This links to the author’s purpose of communicating the corruption materialism can impose on the human mind, showing that Gatsby became so immersed in proving his wealth, he sought after someone that indicated wealth and success as opposed to searching for meaningful happiness in a relationship.

Gatsby’s love for Daisy was also unbelievable or ingenuine as he confused his desire to repeat the past with having feelings for Daisy. Gatsby and Daisy’s fling earlier in their lives is something that Gatsby has clung on to for reasons other than love, leading to his unhealthy obsession with her. This is likely due to the fact that Gastbys humble upbringing was Jay Gatz is one he is not proud of, and being able to eradicate an aspect of his past and relive it in the way he desired is the result of his desire to remake himself and cement the character he had written for himself as being his new identity. Repeating the past and re-doing his relationship with Daisy would not only prove that it is possible to rewrite aspects of his life and help him in burying his past life as James Gatz deeper, but it also confirms this new and supposedly improved version if himself is convincingly deceitful. This is evident in the following quote; “Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can!”. This quote captures Gastbys inability to move on from the past and accept that his dream for him and Daisy will never amount to anything more than a fantasy. This all relates to what Daisy represents to Gatsby and that repeating the past 5 years would mean he had successfully altered himself and his character to embody what he believed to be successful in the setting of the 1920s. This again communicates the Author’s purpose of exposing the flaws of a society corrupted by materialism and the impact this has on the morals and desires of individuals, which is an aspect of our society today that should be considered in the same way.

In a similar way, Daisy’s feelings for Gatsby were also misguided, contributing to the unbelievability of their relationship which Fitzgerald utilized to convey his purpose. Daisy’s supposed feelings for Gatsby are in fact her feeling flattered by Gatsby’s obsession and her having a desire to rebel against her husband Tom in a non confrontational way through her affair. This desire reflects the accumulating unhappiness Daisy has experienced throughout her marriage, indicating that Daisy’s feelings are not genuine for Gatsby, but are rather her attempting to escape the reality of her life and indirectly challenge the aspects of her life she is discontent with. This misguided feeling towards Gatsby is also Daisys desire to fill in time in her empty and almost meaningless life, reflected in the quote “Do you ever wait for the longest day of the year and miss it?”. This quote shows the lack of meaning Daisy has in her life, that she is waiting for a source of purpose or genuine emotion and is simply using her affair with Gatsby to try and achieve this, as opposed to truly loving him. This assists in communicating Fitzgerald’s purpose of communicating the hollowness of a life structured around valuing material objects, of how Daisy opted for an unhappy marriage as this is the situation that offered greater wealth, leading her to an meaningless life in which she struggled to find purpose.

The unbelievable nature of Daisy and Gatsby”s relationship was contributed to by the unrealistic nature of the logistics of them being together. Even if the feelings the two had for one another were not misguided or confused, logistically the relationship would never have worked. This is evident in the characteristics of both characters, and proven by the events of the novel. Daisy would never truly consider leaving Tom as he offered her the financial security and predetermined lifestyle she desired. There is no risk in staying with Tom, and Daisy proves herself to not be a risk taker, shown in the quote “She wanted her decision made now, immediately, shaped by some force of love, money or unquestionable practicality.” This quote communicates that Daisy had never truly considered leaving Tom for Gatsby, as marrying Gatsby was a gamble and did not offer enough security for her. This is also contributed to the fact that despite Gatsby’s efforts to change himself, they come from completely different worlds and would never truly be compatible in the sense that Daisy accepts a certain lifestyle and mannerisms that Gatsbys can not truly offer. This is proven in the fact that she ultimately did choose Tom by allowing Gatsby to take the fall for her mistakes and by staying in her marriage with Tom. As well as this, Gatsby’s obsessive focus on repeating the past and completing his self reinvention by securing Daisy was a characteristic of his that prevented the relationship working. His compulsive need to hear Daisy say she had never loved Tom, and overbearing focus on structuring his whole life to be more desirable to her was utterly overwhelming for Daisy. This is evident in the shirt scene in which Daisy is brought to tears at the realization that she can never live up to the fantasy version of herself that Gatsby has composed. Each of these aspects to the relationships improbability contribute to the author’s purpose of disclosing the influence materialism has on the human mind and edison making of individuals, the in which it can alter and distort the morals and values of people and society.

To conclude, the unbelievability of the relationship between Daisy and Gatsby is used to convey Fitzgerald’s purpose of communicating the flaws of materialism and the impact this can have on humanity, leading to connections between Gatsby’s world and society today. The ingenuine and confused feelings the two have for each other and the improbability of the relationship withstanding their differences makes this an unbelievable relationship. This disproves the statement that a skillful writer conveys their purpose through believable relationships, making this a statement I disagree with. Gatsby is in love with the idea of Daisy and what she represents, whereas Daisy loves the idea of escaping Tom or rebelling against him, but does not love the reality of leaving the safety of her marriage to him. For this reason, the relationship between the two is unbelievable, which is central to Fitzgerald communicating his purpose throughout the text.

Kiā ora and welcome to studyit.
An interesting slant to take with the topic. You begin to establish a thesis and address both sides of the statement in the introduction. Perhaps a clearer explanation about the aspects that made the relationship unbelievable could have appeared. What is it about being ingenuine or unlikely that makes it unbelievable? This is kind of crucial to your argument and needs a strong link to be credible.
Why then does being misguided in a relationship mean it is unbelievable? Does it not happen? Good evidence given for the fact that Gatsby regarded her as a trophy and links well to theme. You need though to establish why this is unbelievable. You might have been better to stick with the statement as it was rather than opposing it.
You know this text well and create a case for an empty, materialistic, self centred relationship where each character has a fantasy they can never realise but you do not explain clearly enough why this makes it unbelievable. Have another go at trying to establish the parameters in the introduction.
Your understanding of the themes and purpose of the author is really good.
Hope this helps.
JD