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…Hill also uses the feature ofWhen Ryan says “I could have said no,”

Kia ora Char1otte

In your intro -good to make a statement about the question in your first line, but because you start with characters but we do not know what the text is yet, it is a little confusing. How about something a little more broad “Friendship is an integral part of the human experience; and friendships also help us understand some of the most important ideas about wider society. David Hill explores…” - Apart from that, good intro.

In para one - you might want to foreshadow that Tara was hit by the car earlier in the paragraph - “This can be seen at the beginning of the novel when Ryan gets peer pressured into driving his car with passengers onboard despite only having his restricted license - resulting in him hitting Tara”. This would make your point about the relationship a little clearer.

You need to unpack the wider idea in society much more if you are aiming high - come back to it at the end of the paragraph if you can - “Hill here is highlighting how in society…” really unpack.

A good start - keep going with it :slight_smile:

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Hi, Thanks for your reply.
Im aiming high but I don’t really know how I can relate my novel to real world situations, so does that mean I just have to relate it to people in society in general? because I’m not really sure what wider society means so I’m assuming its the same as human nature. Could you please give an example of how I would unpack the wider idea in society much more?

Hi again

I think Jdewar has pretty much responded to this in another comment - but in this case, given the question is about wider society - you want to think, what does this show us about how the world works and functions - think about common societal structures of beliefs - eg from memory you had something in here about taking ownership for your decisions/actions/mistakes - an example might be that you might talk about how in society most people understand that people make mistakes, but those that we respect the most are the people who stand up and are open about the mistakes that are made and try to put it right, something exemplified in the friendship between Hill’s characters here.

This tells us a commonly held value in society and how this was shown in your chosen relationship.

Hope that helps :slight_smile:

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