Feedback on my essay please!

Describe at least one way that a character or individual changed in the text. Explain how this change was important to the text as a whole.

Independence is constantly found after achieving something with no help. This concept is explored through the main character Daisy from the novel How I live now, written by Meg Rosoff. Rosoff made Daisy insecure and quiet, this slowly starts to change about her each time she overcomes a difficult situation during the war. This change in Daisy is carried throughout the whole novel, Rosoff made this important by showing us how people can grow from the text as a whole. Meg Rosoff highlights the way that obstacles help us become more independent.

During the beginning of the novel How I Live Now, I start to understand Daisy’s personality and how she acts. I noticed that she is very quiet and insecure about her imagery. By the description, almost emo like. This novel is about war, and people fighting for their life. Daisy started to change when her and Piper (cousin) are unsupervised and very limited on supplies. She saw Piper is starting to look similar to her from not having enough food. I believe that Daisy had no idea what impact the eating disorder had on herself unless she saw it on someone else. “Every war has turning points and every person too. “ This quote represents the turning point of someone, in this case, Daisy changes to survive. Rosoff made it clear that this point in the book is showing Daisy starts to change, Meg Rosoff highlights the way that obstacles help us become more independent. obstacles being limited to food, and managing it well. She starts to be more careful with what supplies she has left and become a lot stronger by knowing that she can complete certain tasks (retrieving food and making it last long). with no supervisor required. Rosoff’s purpose here is to get the reader to understand more about Daisy and how she starts to become independent from helping out Piper and being careful with food (a change to the text).

Near the end of the text, Daisy and Piper make it back to their house. Rosoff led Daisy to be hopeful that their family would be there waiting. Since this was not the case, they had to be alone for a moment more. Which led to another obstacle among many others. Rosoff shows a good point about Daisy’s independence from making smart decisions. Whether that be leaving the house again, or staying in hope that someone might come and haven’t been killed. there was no supervisor, she was the one making decisions. Rosoff made Piper’s character look up to Daisy, and trust she knows what she is doing. I believe that Rosoff’s purpose here is to show how Daisy matures towards things, how she treats things, this involves people and objects. A point where Daisy’s character starts to change even more is the choice to leave the house. “I decided to move to the barn, where no one would find us apart from our family.” Rosoff shows that Daisy starts to grow up, almost like a young parent. Meg Rosoff highlights the way that obstacles help us become more independent.

This can relate to the real world because similar events took place in 1914, World War 1. How Rosoff makes Daisy change, is very much like something that happened during the world war. In reality, many children lost their families and had to look after one another. They would change as they grow older similar to Daisy, by completing challenges. Meg Rosoff highlights the way that obstacles help us become more independent.

Kia ora connellma and welcome to StudyIt!
There are a lot of really nice aspects in this essay so make sure you hold onto these foundations.
One of the things I noticed was that there are some vague statements made in your essay. For example, you talk about “the war”. I don’t know this text and so giving some specific details about which war from the start would help give your marker a bit more of a context.
Some of your points need to be a little more to the point. Think about how you can phrase some of your ideas more directly. You mention an eating disorder and I get the impression you are actually talking about starvation from not having access to food. This could be made clearer by being direct.
Further to this, make sure you clearly address the second part of the question which looks at linking these points to the importance ‘to the text as a whole’. You have hinted that independence is an important part of the text, so maybe explain what you mean by this further. Why is this important to understand in this particular text?
You also have ensured that you touch on the author’s purpose and this is a vital part of responding to the text. (Woohoo! Go you!) Think about how you could develop these comments and go into a bit more depth. This might include the idea that people can be forced to grow up and become independent through really challenging, even life-threatening, situations. You touch on this in the conclusion; exploring it throughout the essay more clearly would have been really beneficial.

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