Could someone please help with give me feedback on my hard rock essay

Analyse how a key event was used to highlight the writer’s purpose.

Hard Rock Returns to Prison from the Hospital for the Criminal Insane is a poem by Knight, Etheridge. This poem is about a black African American man that has returned from hospital back to prison after having a lobotomy. Hard Rock is tough man that doesn’t bow down to anyone, he controls the prison and does all the bad things in it. The guards in the prison make Hard Rock get a lobotomy as the guards think Hard Rock is really bad guy that controls everyone.

Para 1
A significant event in this poem was when Hard Rock had his lobotomy. In this poem Hard Rock was referred to as a real mean “N word” and was “known not to take shit from nobody” this quote is dialogue which was said by fellow inmate at the prison. This is also a double negative because it describes Hard Rock as someone that doesn’t “take shit from anyone” This implies that he does what he wants which meant that all the prisoners followed him. This highlights the writers purpose which is describing the way Hard Rock was as he was someone that was a leader for the prisoners.

Para 2
A second significant moment in this poem is when Hard Rock received the lobotomy, this was a significant moment because this was about to completely change Hard Rock and change how the prison works. Hard Rock was “bored cut and sored” This quote is an aggressive verb as it says what Hard Rock had to go through as a lobotomy is when they put a needle type metal thing into his brain which touches something In the front part of the brain, this completely changed Hard Rock. This highlights the writer’s purpose which shows how back in the day they did lobotomy’s to control people that weren’t behaving and caused trouble but some of these people just had mental health problems and no one knew about these problems.

Para 3
The last significant moment that happened is how Hard Rock was after the lobotomy. Hard Rock was completely changed after it, it took exactly three minutes to say his name, this is not normal for anyone as mostly everyone knows how to say their name. This quote is a statistics as it involves numbers and says the number three which there are numbers involve. This highlights the writer’s purpose which is how this lobotomy can completely change people and also how Hard Rock was treated.

To conclude, Hard Rock went through a terrible event which was the lobotomy, this completely changed the way Hard Rock was looked at and how he was treated as now the guards have control over the prison again but know the rest of the prisoners don’t look up to Hard Rock as “he used to be their ruler the doer of things we couldn’t do ourselves” this completely changes the way the prison is run now since there won’t be the bad fights happening around the prison since Hard rock is not normal he was the one that would start all these fights or join in them.

Kiā ora and welcome to Studyit.
In the introduction you need to set up the outline of where you are going to go and answer the question in essence. So with this one - there is a key event and that is… and it helps to make the author’s purpose, which is… clear. If you can do this it helps with the rest of the essay as well, I think.
The question asks for **a key event, you go on to make three in the next few paragraphs, but they could all really be the one - the lobotomy and then you could go on to talk about the aspects involved with the event.
The motivation behind it, the change, the actual procedure.
When you come to the author’s purpose try and go a bit bigger - rather than he was a leader and how lobotomies change people - move into the way people of colour are segregated in the prison system and how they are treated. Dealing with the oppression they suffered and the drastic and cruel treatment they endured will let you make some deeper conclusions.
Hope this helps
JD :+1:

1 Like