Could i get some feedback on this Truman show essay, also what grade i would get?

Describe at least one unusual relationship in the visual text you have studied. Explain why this relationship was unusual.

In the film the Truman show by peter weir, we are introduced to a relationship that influences the film as a whole. The relationship between Marlon and Truman at the start of the film seems to be very genuine and truthful but as the film, goes on we see this relationship fall apart for us as viewers, and feel that the things Marlon is doing behind trauma back are seen as unusual and not what should be happening in a truthful relationship. The director Peter weir effectively shows this by carefully using film techniques to gradually show us what Marlon is doing that causes the relationship to fall apart. Some of these film techniques are, camera angles (to show dominance), voiceovers (to show deception), and finally music (to create a mood of the scene)

At the start of the film, we are introduced to Marlon as being this kind friend willing to spend quality time with Truman. This allows us to see Truman as having trusting friends to help him with his decisions in life. Here the director peter weir uses music to really convey the tone of the friendship is and like friendships of our own relatable as it makes us think as watchers of our own relationships. The use of music also informs us that they are very trusting in one another as they can be relaxed in each other’s company.

“That’s the big guy, quite the paintbrush he’s got”- Marlon. In the middle of the film, we start to pick up things like this when Marlon if talking about Christoph (the film director Truman doesn’t know about) and this world he has created for Truman, but when Truman agrees with this comment we rely on Truman and Marlon are talking about two different things- Marlon talking about Christoph and Truman talking about god. The director peter weir uses the technique of camera angles (a high angle shot) to show the dominance Christoph not only has over Truman but also over Christoph. As we rely on that Christoph is controlling what Marlon is saying to Truman. This builds the unusualness of the relationship as we start to rely on Marlon if just a face, but Christoph is almost living through him.

Near the end of the film, we are faced with a scene where we can clearly hear Christoph talking into Christoph’s ear telling him what to say to Truman. One thing that Marlon specifically says to Truman is “if everyone was in on it that would mean I would have to be in on it too” implying that he was his best friend and if he couldn’t trust his best friend then whom could he trust? The use of voice-over helps us fully hear both the emotion in Marlon’s voice and in Christoph’s voice, conveying a deeper understanding of what is going on. The most unusual thing about this relationship is that Truman’s ‘best friend’ could be seen as someone he has never actually met (Christoph) as we have seen him living through Marlon and can no longer trust what Marlon is saying to Truman.

To conclude in the show The Truman show by peter weir we are presented with this relationship that at the start of the film we see to be like relationships like our own but as the film progresses we see unusual things arise that cause us to see the relationship being more one-sided and like Truman has no body he can trust anymore if he can’t even trust his best friend. The director uses very effective techniques to portray these emotions better in the fill. These techniques are, music uses, camera angles and finally voiceovers.

Kia ora Hannah1

You have a good sense of film techniques throughout here and unpack them well.

I would suggest that given the whole question is about the “unusualness” of the relationship, you need to spend more time unpacking that unusualness - atm you dedicate just one line per paragraph (and none in first para) to that aspect and it seems like it has just been tacked on to a relationship essay. I would suggest leading in your topic sentence with something about the unusualness, and then unpacking much more WHAT is unusual about it.

Consider

  • How is it different from what we would typically expect from a relationship
  • How does this unusualness impact the film as a whole - why has the director chosen to present it that way?
  • How does that unusualness impact the viewer?
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