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Could I get some feedback on my essay?

Question: Describe an important setting in the text.
Explain how the setting helped you to understand one or more key ideas.

In the Novel Noughts and Crosses written by Malorie Blackman, the large explosion of the bomb exploding to millions of pieces at the mall helped me to understand the racial segregation all the characters were experiencing. Sephys race (African-American) is favoured majorly and superior over Callums race (Fair skin).

The explosion of the bomb at the mall, clarified how much Callum cared for Sephy, but is denied the chance to be with her because Callum is white and she is Black. Callum showed his feelings for her when he ran all the way across town to rescue her from being blown to bits. Sephy thinks she can never be with Callum because of their differences, ‘Love doesn’t exist. Friendship doesn’t exist- not between a nought and a Cross.’- Sephy. I think the Author, Malorie Blackman, wanted to show us that life is not always perfect, but any form of racial advantage is wrong and uncalled for, but is seen around the world still. My opinion on this matter is that no matter what, if you care for someone deeply, do not let anything get in the way of that. I think that NZ is currently turning the same way as ‘Noughts and Crosses’, because we now have separate justice systems, health systems and rights from the Maori and the Pakeha. In my book everyone should be even, no matter your colour, race, gender or age. The explosion device not only connected Sephy and Callum, but killed Ryan.

If the racial injustice was not so fierce in the novel, Ryan McGregor would still be standing. This is because he would not have been having to stand up to the segregation happening around himself, meaning the Liberation Militia would not be a ‘thing’. This is shown through the words Callum spoke, ‘No more prejudice, a fair police force, an equal justice system, equality of education, equality of life, a level playing field’ -Callum, this is all they were fighting for. Seeing as racial injustice was heavy in his town, Ryan was placed in prison for ‘life’. This did not sit well with him. So he committed suicide when trying to escape. I expect that the Author wanted us to wake up to what is happening in our day-to-day lives and that someone may sound like they are evil or have the wrong intentions, but if you look behind the mask they (The LM) are doing the city a big favour on tackling the supremacy of one race. I think any sort of racial division is wrong, and should be corrected/stopped, this is because everyone is human. No one is perfect, but we are HUMAN. Ryan only died, because he was him (white). If he had been black he would have gotten off with a warning at most. The bomb not only killed Ryan and 7 citizens, but put a lifelong weight and trail on Jude.

The incendiary device exploding, put a nose around Judes neck. This is obvious, because Jude is ‘White’. If only he was ‘black’. If Jude had been dark skinned, he would not have been questioned, nor put on the suspect radar. Supposedly they found a soda can nearby with his prints ‘All over it’. This is explained from Callum, ‘So, the can had Jude’s prints all over it. So they say. It’s a damned lie of course but they reckon they cross-referenced it with the print on his ID card.’ -Callum. Yes, Jude may have planted the bomb, but why were they so quick jumping to conclusions about who did the deed. There were hundreds of crosses around at the time, and the bomb was placed in the rubbish bin where there would have been fingerprints on items from African-American individuals. So why question the Nought so quickly?. This obscenity is seen around the world on people’s day to day lives, Maoris are never suspected first and always get off with lighter fines and convictions compared to fair skinned pakeha. I think the Author wanted us to take a look at ourselves, look deep, question our life choices and see if we are adding to the division found around us.

In conclusion, the idea of Racial segregation was exposed to the fullest when the explosion occured and we learn that segregation, or seperating people by skin colour is not ok in any circumstances, especially not for supremacy.

Kiā ora and welcome to studyit.
This is a great novel. Setting is an interesting aspect - it can involve time and place and with this novel it is a dystopian setting in a place called Albion where there is societal division based on race. In the introduction it could be helpful to mention this at the beginning and then move to the mall and the explosion. You set up the key idea being “the racial segregation all the characters were experiencing.” It would be good to extend this a little and discuss what it is about the racial segregation that is the key idea. You mention them in the body paragraphs but it is a good idea to mention them in the intro as well, just to establish where you are going for the marker - kind of setting up markers for them to follow.
In the first body paragraph you talk about the need to get past the divisions caused by racial differences and follow your heart. A good use of evidence from the text and good reference to the author’s purpose. In the closing part of the paragraph you need to try and extend the idea a little more - so the notion that people cannot have relationships because they are of different race is damaging and based on flawed reasoning - people are essentially the same and to divide on the issue of race is nonsense. Your last sentence links in to the next paragraph. Again good use of evidence and reference to author’s purpose.
The third paragraph looks at the disparity inherent in the system of control. I don’t think you can justify the statement that "Maoris are never suspected first and always get off with lighter fines and convictions compared to fair skinned pakeha. " The numbers would not support you. The author was making a comment, perhaps, on the way the system is actually unfairly weighted against particular races, such as was exposed in the George Floyd case in the US and the subsequent examination of the systematic racism seen in such systems which was condemned in the Black Lives Matter movement.
In the conclusion you come back to the key idea of racial segregation .
Overall a solidly structured essay, a good knowledge of the book and some understanding of the purpose shown, which could be further developed to reach the insight needed for E.
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