Can I please have feedback on my Lord of the Flies essay?

Describe a character or individual who you disliked or admired in the written text. Explain how your feelings toward this character helped you understand the text as a whole.

In the novel Lord of the Flies written by William Golding, Simon’s morally pure actions are admirable. They prove to the reader that although you may be caught up in evil actions, there is good within every individual which can drive them to act positively against the views of the general population.

Simon is the only character who stays morally pure throughout the novel. Although he is surrounded by the savagery which takes over most of the boys on the island, he continues to act with a civilised mindset. Simon is a good child. Despite there being no presence of an adult, he continues to do things for other people. He volunteers to do things that nobody else wants to, ‘”I’ll go if you like….”’ and he is also the only person to help Ralph with the shelters so they can survive. Simon is also an intelligent child, ‘”We could make scratches on bark”, ‘. However, Simon’s most admirable quality is his courage. Upon his encounter with the Lord of the Flies he is asked, ‘”Aren’t you afraid of me?”’, Simon’s response to this Is that he is not afraid because he has realised that the beast cannot hurt him.

Simon attracts the positive emotions of the reader due to his admirable actions. Although the boys are not always please with the way he acts, ‘”Simon? What is it this time?”’. The reader sees through this and can understand that Simon always acts for the greater good. This engages the emotion of admiration. People look up to others who act out of kindness, just as the boys look up to people who are in a powerful position, ‘authority sat on his shoulder’. The idea of power is key in the novel as the boys have lost all adults causing them to lose a sense of civilisation and ‘Ralph had to adjust his values’ due to the change in beliefs caused by a lack of power.

The reader also feels the negative emotion of pity. As the novel develops, Golding creates a sense of pity towards Simon as he is an outsider due to the other boys becoming savage. Simon could see with ‘his inward sight’ what the boys were becoming and he understood that the roots of civilisation can only be ingrained into a person so deep. He was beginning to lose hope in humanity and ‘The usual brightness was gone from his eyes and he walked with a sort of glum determination like an old man.’ Golding creates a sense of hope for civilisation to act for the greater good, however the idea develops to show that perhaps Golding is trying to express that violence within society is causing the hope for it to be morally good to dwindle. We cannot escape from the evil inside of us and ‘the darkness within man’s heart.’ This is shown by the link to the historical event of World War II. World War II caused the deaths of around 80 million people. People were fighting for their countries as they believed it was an honour, but perhaps it was their flaws and thirst for blood that drew them to these actions. The flaws within every individual form an overwhelming desire to cause harm and kill others. The boys’ lives are filled with adults who condone violence leading to the boys’ horrific actions. Proving that we all can perform evil deeds.

Simon was a courageous and intelligent individual. He did things for the greater good and proved that even when all hope seems lost, there is good in the world. Simon was like a ‘sculpted marble.’ He was someone who is admirable in the novel because he helped the reader understand that although everybody has an innate ability to perform evil deeds they also have the ability to perform kind actions.

Kia ora - welcome to Studyit!

This is a good essay that gives many reasons why Simon is a character worth our admiration. A good sense of how the reader reacts to the character and why.

A couple of things to think about

While it can be a bit clunky - I would suggest finding a way to work in key words “text from the whole” in your intro - your argument is clearly that it helped you understand the text as a whole because it helped you understand some of the key themes, but if you signpost this at the start it would be stronger.

Connecting your ideas together would help lift this - Try to use connectives between your paragraphs (and within sometimes) - EG “Furthermore” “moreover” “Golding further develops our admiration through…” “The author then contrasts this with”

  • Try to unpack and contextualize your quotes a bit more - you weave them in well, but you need to provide a little bit of context and unpack what effect they have - ”We could make scratches on bark”, for example, is quite unclear for someone who may not have read the book - why is this clever? Might might a regular teenager living in NZ admire this?

Some nice links out in that last para - but it is could be more strongly connected to how your admiration toward the character helps you understand the text - you say that we feel pity - but do we feel pity BECAUSE of the way that we previously admired him? Make this clear.

You are definitely on the right track with this :slight_smile:

Thank you, this is very helpful!