Can I have some feedback to get a higher grade please

This is an essay about the poem reports to words worth.

Describe at least one significant idea in a written text that you have studied. Explain how this significant idea impacts on you

“We are the first generation to feel the effect of climate change and the last generation who can do something about it.” - Barack Obama
This quote reminds us of the major impacts humans have caused on the planet and how little time we have left to make a change. This quote is similar to the poem ‘Reports to Wordsworth’ written by Boey Kim Cheng,’ which has a significant idea about climate change and human mass destruction of the world. Throughout the poem, I noticed 2 very significant ideas; humans are killing the environment and we are all responsible for its destruction and pollution. Cheng showed us these significant ideas by using the techniques of alliteration, direct address, an adjective, and inclusive pronouns. Throughout this essay, I will explain how these significant ideas impact me as well as how these techniques helped me better understand climate change.

In the first part of the poem, Cheng used alliteration when he said ‘you should be here, nature has need of you. This highlights the significant idea that humans are killing the environment because the sentence makes it seem that nature is desperately calling out for our help. This idea is reinforced by the technique of direct address, which was used when Cheng said ‘you’ throughout the line, giving us the impression that we are responsible for destroying the environment. The author’s purpose was to make us feel guilty, and he did this by using these techniques. This significantly impacted me because it made me think about the times I could’ve chosen a more environmentally friendly product or left earlier and walked somewhere instead of driving someplace. This made me think about even when you’re doing something like turning your car on, it’s still contributing to climate change.

Another significant idea in this poem is that we are all responsible for the destruction and pollution of the earth. We see this in the middle of the poem when Cheng says ‘While insatiate man moves in for the kill’. He used the technique of an adjective when he said the word ‘insatiate’ which might cause the reader to reflect on their actions and make us question if we’re a part of the problem. Another technique used to support this significant idea is an inclusive pronoun which was used when Cheng said ‘he is entombed in the waste we dump’. The author’s purpose in using an inclusive pronoun was to make sure that we understood that we were to blame for the destruction and pollution of the earth. This had a significant impact on me because I know what climate change is and I know how it’s affecting humans, but I never thought about how the environment and animals have to suffer because of our wrong

In conclusion, the poem Reports to Wordsworth highlights the significant idea that humans are killing the environment and we are all responsible for its destruction and pollution. This poem has a significant impact on all of us because every single person has added to the effect of climate change in one way or another. I think the author’s purpose was to make us aware of what our earth used to be and what it’s like now. The purpose was to put these significant ideas in our heads so we keep thinking about them and hopefully decide to help in some way. There’s a lot of attention on this issue but not enough, there needs to be a big change in how we’re currently living or it’s going to be too late, scientists and politicians are already asking if it’s too late.

Kiā ora and welcome to studyit.
The intro is the place to answer the question in both parts and you have done this well. You raise the significant ideas and the techniques and also set up where you are going to go. Signalling to the reader just where you are going is great.
The use of alliteration is always a tricky one. It is the repeated sound that you need to describe as having an effect and you don’t really get there. You need to think about the repeated long ‘n’ sound and maybe the way that draws our attention because of the time it takes to say and the way the sound emphasises the words ‘nature’ and ‘need’.
Otherwise your comments are great and your evidence is supportive.
A great essay.
Hope this helps.
JD :grinning: