Animal farm essay - written text

Can I plz get feedback and a grading on this essay.

Animal farm - practise essay

Q5 - Describe a pivotal relationship in a written text you have studied.
Explain why the relationship was pivotal.

In ‘Animal farm’ written by George Orwell, a pivotal relationship is shown between Napoleon and power. Showing power can corrupt anyone. From the beginning to the end Napoleon gains more and more power, throughout the movie Napoleon changes a lot and it is all due to power and how it has corrupted him. Animal Farm is all about who gains power and how they gain it. Power can corrupt anyone by changing who has the power to make decisions that influences anyone.

The relationship between Napoleon and power at the beginning is very minimal due to having Mr. Jones in the picture, who has all the power. Over time Napoleon banishes Mr. Jones from the farm. Slowly one person/animal at a time is banished or silenced making Napoleon gain more power. To Napoleon power is essential and he will do anything to gain it. Napoleon goes too far extents to make sure he gets it but he sometimes goes too far, resulting in lost friendships and even deaths. Napoleon and power have a pivotal relationship as they need each other to survive. Without power, Napoleon wouldn’t be him and without Napoleon power would not be the same if especially if Mr. Jones was in charge/power.

During the novel, Napoleon and power become more important as they start taking over the farm and many of the animals. After banishing Mr. Jones only one other animal is standing in his way of all the power; Snowball. Snowball and Napoleon share different views of how to maintain power and have many arguments. Napoleon comes up with a plan to banish Snowball from the farm forever, so he is never in Napoleon’s way again. This is Napoleon’s way of gaining all the power and he loses many friendships and even kills some of his once friends. Napoleon’s plan goes underway without a hitch, once Snowball is banished and is never heard from again Napoleon goes on with his life forgetting about Snowball. Napoleon becomes the only leader with all the power.

At the end of the novel, Napoleon has all the power and controls all the animals living on the farm. Napoleon makes the animals believe whatever he wants them to believe. The relationship between Napoleon and power was pivotal because of how much Napoleon wanted it and how he banished and silenced anyone in his way or who disagreed with him. Napoleon went too far extents to make sure he got power and the novel wouldn’t be the same without the relationship between Napoleon and power. Napoleon has the wrong morals in mind during the whole movie whereas Snowball had the right morals in mind but was banished.

In Animal Farm, the relationship between Napoleon and power is very much pivotal since Napoleon wanted all the power and he did horrible things to his fellow animals just so he could gain power. The pivotal relationship between Napoleon and power is of the most important relationships in the novel. Napoleon shows how power can corrupt anyone with the wrong morals in mind. Throughout the whole novel, Napoleon and powers ’ relationship gets more and more involved, making it impossible for anyone else to take it in from them.

Kiā ora
A solid intro but you could tie in the notion of purpose - which is what ideas the author wanted us to consider - it is pivotal because it allows us to better understand the nature of power and the effect on individuals - why some individuals want to gain more power, what they are willing to do to get there and so on.
You could strengthen the response by giving some more specific details - for example when Napoleon hatches the plan to banish Snowball - what is it he decides to do? Perhaps also look at the effects of having the power - the punishments, whether there is a satisfaction in the giving of punishment?
If you can include the notion of the purpose and therefore deepen the response and show perception you can improve the grade from the Achieved it is currently sitting at.
Hope this helps
JD :grinning: